Battles

[Drake Maethor]

You are welcome Nurse Henrik!
By the way! have you finished checking Sir Turylon's prostate?

[Heretic]

Originally posted by Sir Turylon
I'm mostly teasing Drake... cause he is a silly person.. Ni!
I only tease people I get along with... hence why I do not make fun of Elewyn (in a joking manner).

Besides... there is no an interesting KoH based story going!


Chapter 5.

"I come on behalf of Sir Drake. I dearly like the man, and I fear that he will run into danger this evening. I come to beg that he is allowed to live in peace. I know I ask a lot of thee, but, I fear you are my only hope." She said to Sir Turylon with quivering voice.

"Well, about that. Lady Heretic beseached my good grace to not harm her beloved Sir Drake...

This part is like fairytale.:nono:All your tale is like fairytale.
Originally posted by Henrik

Sir Henrik began to explain how they should try and trick Drake into riding to the nearby city of Lustbourg by sending him a message telling him that his "services" were urgently needed at the court in the castle of Lustbourg " well, as you very well know that in order for him to get there fast, he'll have to take the route through the mountains and i'll suggest that a few trusted men of ours will lie and wait for him when he passes cleavage ravine on his way over the breast hills ! they'll put him in a bag and ship him off to the gas swamps !"

The more I read your posts the more I see you cannot look how Drake sticks to you favorite Heretic!(That's why you brought a rival to the gas swamps!)Awww!How could I don't remark this earlier!:rofl: Guys!I don't need SO MUCH attention from you all!:rofl:

[Henrik]

I'm almost done with Chapter 7. :go:

It's gonna ROCK :lol:

[Heretic]

Mwah!The best defence is attack!:viking: :viking: :viking:

[Henrik]

Okay guys'n gals, here is the 7th. chapter of our tale which i hope that you all will enjoy just as much as did while writing it

Chapter 7.

When the noble sir Turylon come home to his and Sir Henrik's castle (Maidenbourg) he stopped by the inn called: "Virgin, but not for long" or for short: V.N.L in common speech, because he could hear happy music and loud and rather "ill-mannered" singing, he decided to investigate the phenomenon, so he went in. He soon discovered the cause of the "singing" (noise !) because it was "just" Sir Henrik who had started a little earlier than he normally used too. When Sir Henrik discovered Sir Turylon standing in the doorway he smiled and said: "*hiccup* ayyyy, izz it youuuu *hiccup* come an join yourrrr fe fe fel fellOW brother in arrmmzzzzz - both of you *hiccup & fart*", somehow Sir Turylon didn't excactly feel and irresistible urge to join the ongoing party, because he knew from hard learned experience that Sir Henrik could be a real pain in the *ss when he have had to much to drink and by the looks of him, that point seemed to have been passed two or maybe three bottles ago ! but on the other hand also he thought it was sad that Sir Henrik should sit there and drink all by himself - besides his code of chivalry also demanded him to take care of a fellow brother in "need", so he took a chair and sat down at the table "where in the *hiccup* world have you been? ", asked sir Henrik and looked at with a face where both eyes seemed to rotate in opposite directions in their eyesockets. "I have been visiting Sir Enrico Haegemo "Whoooo !", Sir Henrik suddenly stood up and almost tumbled over the table. "ahhh, come on you remember him don't you?", "NO!", shouted Sir Henrik. "Have you forgotten that we saved him from that gang of thugs who were about to end his you life all too soon!", said Sir Turylon. "Okaaayyyy, now i remember him", said Sir Henrik with a little gentler voice!". and Sir Turylon continued: "Well, we talked about the small problem you seem to have, and he was certain that he had a cure for your errrmmm disorder, so he gave me this little flask along with the instruction that you shall be careful how you take it *small pause* that means small doses and DON'T mix it with alcohol! He was VERY specific about that!". "well, hand the merchandise over !", demanded Sir Henrik, now impatient from the long admonitory speach. Sir Turylon gave him the flask and Sir Henrik looked at it and said: "Such a small flask - what good can it do anybody?". "Well" said Sir Turylon and continued: "I don't know, but please be careful, will ya". Sir Henrik took the cork of the flask and took a sniff at the flask, but immediately shock his head back: "What in the devil's name is that, it small like something coming from a hose's behind when it's sick or should i say near death! ?". "Well, i don't know", said Sir Turylon and continued: "This was what he gave me!". "Okay", said Sir Henrik "I might just as well test it now!". He took the top of flask to his mouth: "Bottoms up!", "PLEASE BE CAREFUL!", shouted Sir Turylon, but it was too late, Sir Henrik emptied the whole substance in the flask in one draught and shook his head a few times: "That damn thing taste even worse than it smells!" and he continued: "I need a swig of wine to chase that one!", "No you mustn't drink anything containing alcohol - remember what i said", said Sir Turylon with a somewhat anxious look. "Well, is it your throat or mine that's on fire right now!", said Sir Henrik with a grumpy voice. "Well, suit yourself", said Sir Turylon and continued: "but don't come back to me say i didn't try to warn you!". Then Sir Turylon stood up and left the table while he thought: he deserves what is coming to him! then he went out the door and walked toward his keep.

The next day, around noon, he went back to the inn to have a bottle of wine together with Sir Henrik like they always did, however there was no sign of him and when he asked the owner whether he had seen Sir Henrik, he just shook his head. Then Sir Turylon began to get a bit worried, so he hurried to Sir Henrik's keep. When he arrived at the keep he searched downstairs, but there was no sign of Sir Henrik, so he went upstairs to the second floor where Sire Henrik normally would be sitting in his great hall and receiving visitors, but not even here was there any sign of sir Henrik, then he decided to go to the third floor where sir Henrik had his sleeping quarters. The first thing he saw when coming up from the stairs, was one of Sir Henrik's maids ! Sir Turylon noticed that she had a blissful look in her eyes as she quickly waddled by him: "hmmmmmmmm", he thought noting of it and continued walking down the long corridor, when he reached the door to Sir Henrik's chambers he met two more of Sir Henrik's maids one sitting and one laying on the floor: "ohhh, noble Sir Turylon please help us back to our chamber we, because none of us are able to walk!" and the maid sitting continued: "I simply don't know what has gotten into our master Sir Henrik, such virility and strength it's so much more than we're used to from our good and noble lord!". Sir Turylon didn't gave'em more thought, because he was a bit concerned for his faithful brother in arms, so he opened the door and looked carefully inside, there he saw Sir Henrik laying on the bed with his arms stretching out from his body and with a look of salvation in his eyes! Sir Turylon look at Sir Henrik's head and downwards, his body was covered by a large green blanket made from silk, which reminded him of the large flat meadow behind the castle where they had their livestock grazing, however that was something which didn't seem to fit the description of the above above-mentioned and that was the large volcanic like structure that seem to raise in the middle of the blanket ! - Sir Turylon couldn't recall ever to have seen that on the meadow. "How are you?" he said to Sir Henrik. "Leave me alone!", he replied: "My body is sore and its aches!". "Well don't expect me to feel sorry for you", said Sir Turylon and continued: "Didn't i try to warn you not to drink it all at once!". "I can't really recall!", said Sir Henrik. The two friends sat on the bed and talked for while, when all of a sudden the church bell began to rang and people started to ran out of their houses shouting: "we're being ATTAAAACKEEEED !". Both Sir Turylon and sir Henrik rushed from the bed. "I'll go get my weapons and armour", shouted Sir Turylon and on his way through the door he continued: "Be ready to meet me at the main gate in 10 minutes!", and then he left. 10 minutes late the now fully equiped and battle ready Sir Turylon stood at the main gate and waited for Sir Henrik, he waited 10 minutes, but since Sir Henrik still hadn't showed up to lead the defence of the left curtain wall like he was supposed to, he then decided to go and get him himself. He ran as fast as he could in his armor to Sir Henrik's keep. When he arrived at the weapon room he saw sir Henrik standing with the upper part of his armor on, along with both sword and shield. "What's taken you so long?", he asked with an irritably voice. Sir Henrik replied with a shameful voice: "I can't get my pants on, they don't seem to fit!, so i'll guess you'll have fight this battle alone". Sir Turylon shook his head and left the keep.

:lol:

[Kuno of Gersenau]

Why don't you open a tread only for this story in the royal inn? There it would fit much better and more people would read it...;)

[Sir Turylon]

I did open a story one a bit ago... but nobody posts in it. :)


ROFL @ Henrik's chapter 7.

@Heretic.

yes my dear, I love writing fairytales. You should read some of the romance in this other story I'm busily scribing away at.

*gets an idea to write a love triangle story about drake, heretic, and sir enrico the haegy*

oh oh.. and the cruel evil antagonist could be Elewyn! and a far off mysterious queen called 4zzy by her people.... and.... a legnedary queen called Nadine! sounds like fun!

[Heretic]

I write some stuff too.
"A tale about two little dwarves:Turylon and his BEST friend Henrik"...:rofl:

Wanna write your tale?Okay,but I want to be an antagonist!!Or mage in her house in deep forest,surrounded by her unicorns and her dragons!She fights against such evil creatures like *cof cof* Turyrlorlorns,which have three eyes and five hands....But two knights want to enter her forest kingdom,Drake and Henrik.They like mage Heretic and wants her attention!:rofl: Poor Turyrlorlorn wants too,but he is too *cof*!And they all fight against each other till one of Heretic's dragons eat 'em all.The End:rofl:
:cheers:

[Henrik]

Originally posted by Heretic
I write some stuff too.
"A tale about two little dwarves:Turylon and his BEST friend Henrik"...:rofl:

Wanna write your tale?Okay,but I want to be an antagonist!!Or mage in her house in deep forest,surrounded by her unicorns and her dragons!She fights against such evil creatures like *cof cof* Turyrlorlorns,which have three eyes and five hands....But two knights want to enter her forest kingdom,Drake and Henrik.They like mage Heretic and wants her attention!:rofl: Poor Turyrlorlorn wants too,but he is too *cof*!And they all fight against each other till one of Heretic's dragons eat 'em all.The End:rofl:
:cheers:

That's almost a good one Heretic - except for that you story would sound a little more credible if you told the readers that Drake and Henrik was following you just to insure Sir Turylon's safety !

Why :confused: you probably ask - okay then, you stated that ( the noble ) Sir Turylon had five hands hmmmmmm. *long pause*...:scratch:.........*an even longer pause !*.........:scratch: - it don't IMO take an "Einstein" to imagine what you could "force" him to do :lol: - he would ofcourse "protest" :rolleyes: but that's only because his code of chivalry demands him to do so !

[Sir Turylon]

Originally posted by Henrik


Why :confused: you probably ask - okay then, you stated that ( the noble ) Sir Turylon had five hands hmmmmmm. *long pause*...:scratch:.........*an even longer pause !*.........:scratch: - it don't IMO take an "Einstein" to imagine what you could "force" him to do :lol: - he would ofcourse "protest" :rolleyes: but that's only because his code of chivalry demands him to do so !

if it involved Heretic... She might be able to persuade me.. (through witchcraft... of course :angel: )


Chapter 8.

Laughing his *** off all the way to the gate, Sir Turylon rounded up a few town guards to meet the incoming menace. At first he could not see what it was, but the spec grew in size until it turned into a mighty purple colored dragon. "Hold your fire men, there is somebody riding that beast." He noticed a slender female sitting on the neck of the purple beast holding some sort of staff. She walked the dragon over towards the wall and jumped off the dragon, landing a sparse ten feet from Sir Turylon. The female was dressed in some sort of scant chainmail with satin clothes underneath. Her face was covered with a purple mask which she removed and placed on the parapet. "Hah, good day lady 4zzy. What brings you to the land of Maidenbourg?" Lady 4zzy grined and began to speak in the riddles that she does. "Help someone saught not long ago. Here it is now for them. Turn this invasion we will now. Dragons from far and wide have come. Angry they are at Sir Elewyn. Defiled were their nests by him. Broken were their eggs by him. Revenge be theirs now that he has come. Make ready we will now." She laughed and shook Sir Turylon's hand before remounting the purple dragon. Sir Turylon motioned for the guard captain to beat a call to arms across the villages.

"Sire, a rider is approaching the east gate!" Sir Turylon heard as he just walked down the steps off of the wall. He moved quickly over to the east gate. Sir Henrik must have been mistaken, because the armor he wore was not as cumbersome as Henrik thought. Upon arrival at the gate, the rider dismounted their horse and to Sir Turylon's surprise it was lady Heretic. "Sir Turylon, have you thought over my plea any further?" She said as she gave him the small puppy-dog face. Sir Turylon adjusted his sword belt and coughed slightly. "Why, yes we have. Sir Henrik is in no shape to do any fighting this day. He keeps falling over when he tries to walk. Tell Sir Drake that the evil Lord Elewyn of Dunghold Keep have began to move this way. He should bring his forces here, for we have the pledged support of lady 4zzy and her dragonkin." Lady Heretic jumped up in down from hearing the joyous news and grabbed Sir Turylon in a hug before she took off to tell her little Drakey-poo knight the good news.

Sir Henrik emerged at that time, finally able to stand erect straight after his horrible incident with Sir Enrico's juice. "What was that all about? Did I see a big purple dragon?" Sir Turylon laughed at the silly old man and nodded. "Aye, lady 4zzy came over as well as lady Heretic. Lord Elewyn the stout is moving towards our keep with his army of varangian midgets. We should make ready for the defense. Lady Heretic is going to 'convince' Sir Drake to come over as well. To arms, my brother. We fight tonight, and celebrate through morning!"

The two hastily made ready the defenses. Lady 4zzy arrived again with her dragonkin and a full supply of lemons for the siege. Sir Drake came riding up with a huge grin on his face, with lady Heretic trailing with an equally broad grin. The five nobles went over plans for the defense against the evil lord Elewyn the stout. The agreed that Sir Drake should take charge of the western wall, while Sir Henrik and Sir Turylon guarded the eastern and northern segments. Lady 4zzy would take charge of the southern wall, while lady Heretic was put in charge of supply and logistics.

They sat tight on top of their defenses, while night came. War was upon them, and tonight the fighting would be remembered for eons in lore and song.


Will the five nobles be slaughtered by Elewyn and his army of midgets and Frenchmen? Will the forces of lemon and chilvary prevail? Will the two old knights ever be able to stand after the morning celebration?
*Stay tuned next week*
*Same Knight-channel*
*Same Knight-time*
nah nah nah nah nah nah nah......

[Drake Maethor]

hehe very good stories! :cheers:

Turylorlorn the dwarf! hahahahahah :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
That was a good one Heretic! :go:

[Haegemon]

Originally posted by Drake Maethor

jajja! Pero catalan!, me vas a explicar a mi lo que boludo significa??? :p You know that here we use it all the time!
Another thing, ahi falta otro sinonimo de boludo tambien muy usado en la Argentina: "pelotudo".
And I know you didn't say something about my mother! ;) I said that just because you said: 'Don't be so rude' when I called you gilipoyas. :) I considered it like you were joking me because of using the word gilipoyas, which is an Spanish light insult....

...okok! gracias por el apoyo!
:p

BTW, I feel a little strange talking to an español in English! Don't you? :p

Todo claro. ;)
I knew pelotudo but I was no sure about it. Me sonaba a ser un pelota. :D
It's strange to me too.

Originally posted by Henrik

@Haegemon - i'm happy that you've contributed to our little "tale"

I also wanna let you know that seldom have laughed so much - ie. qoute: "a powerful substance distiled from a seedling flower called Viagris"

I'm happy that you liked it. I'll try to write another later. Here or in the Sir Turylon's thread if its active of course.

[Heretic]

Mwah!
My turn!

Chapter 9 for your attention!(Short one)

Heretic sits in her throne in her room.What about she is thinking?Of course!Why she need to defend the castle and realm,which is not hers?To stand on the same wall with "these" teasing lords?Fight against Elewyn,(evil lord?Hm.Good to have such ally,muhuhahaha)which was/is her friend (find one post his in this thread)?Nono.She stands up and go to the castle yard."Guards!Bring me my Unicorn!"said Heretic."I come back to my realm,to my citadel to the West."she thought in her mind.
"What a hell is going on?!"shout Sir Henrik when he remarked that Heretic is leaving.He ran to Heretic,which is mounted on her Unicorn,and shouts why she is leaving.Heretic said:"Why I need to fight against your enemy?I have my problems in my lands and I don't need to stay here.I don't want my Dragons and Unicorns would die in this battle.Leave them in their Forest,in my realm.We don't want another war,and the one safe place under this sun is the Moonar Forest."-and she urged Unicorn on."What a strange lady..Okay,go to your Forest,we can win this battle without your help!"-said Sir Henrik and came back to his training grounds.:lol:

[Henrik]

@Heretic

Great one - i'm happy to see your participation in "our" story :)

I'll i need to do a bit of writing then.

[hawk_knight]

i will write some to :D

Chapter 10


When Sir Turylonm, sir Henrik, lady 4zzy and sir Drake Maethor wear defending the walls. There saw a large force of the evil lord Elewyn comming from the sky. Henrik said that that are the black dragons of evil. There where coming towards the castle walls but then something had happen a white light came from the north. There where white dragons and white hawks coming from the north. a person was sitting on the biggest white dragon.When the white dragons came closer the saw that Lord Hawk_knight came to help them to fight the black evil dragons and the evil lord Elewyn.

nice story's here :cheers:

[Cork2]

Hey this belongs into the off topic now. Well lets see Back on topic, in battles i like how it says your slightly winning or loosing or that kind of stuff.

[Henrik]

Our ongoing story has now got it's own thread - please visit Our little "Love & Schemes" -story thread (http://forum.sunflowers.de/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1530)