The "Knights tournaments"-story with Turylon and Adolf

[Sir Turylon]

o.k. for those guys who still dont know how tournemnets had worked in reallity:
the tournement was there that the knights could show theyre skills with the lance.
the goal was to hit the opnonent but not to hurt him, push him from his horse or even to kill him. the tournemnt lances whre made that way that they break when the knight hit the other properly. of course accidents had happened, and some of them ended dealy, but that was not that often. whn you talking about to guys fighting each other to kill the oponent, thats not a tournement, thatis a duel.

correct.
a more correct term would be "single combat" :go:

story is turning into a freakin orgy now. *looks at adolf the happy*

[HappyAdolf]

What's orgy?
I don't know.
Do you mean "gory" :D ?
Alright, I'll try to make it not so gory ;)
Ah! You mean an orgy... yeah, okay, I try to keep it down:D
But now write, c'mon!
Btw, I have started to copy it as a word-document and extinguish all faults in Grammar and spelling. If it gets released as a book, it was my work :D
Continuing with the story:

As they awoke on the next day, they needed to get themselves something to eat. Adolf and Gwinneth went hunting as the others searched for a place where they would be safe from the bandits. "Master, I knew the bandit leader from somewhere, you know, the guy who was our innkeeper. I think I have seen him before...", Largefry told Turylon. "Do you remember where it was, my squire?", he replied. "No, master...", Largefry answered. They reached a small road where two merchants on a wagon drove to the next city. "Stay down, squire, I think they will be overrun by the bandits, soon. We will wait for them to come, and then we'll help the merchants.", Turylon told his squire. And so it happened. The bandits came out of some bushes and wanted to take all of the merchants' belongings. But they didn't think about any resistance, so they fled after Turylon and Largefry appeared. "Thank you for your help, Sire.", the merchant said. "No need to thank us. I'm a knight, and it is a knight's duty to help the helpless. If you would do us a favour for our help, we would need to drive to the next city. But we have to wait for our friends to come.", Turylon replied. "Oh, if you want to reach the next city, we could give you two or three horses to ride on, we have six, and two are enough to pull our wagon.", the grateful merchant said and gave them three horses.
Adolf and Gwinneth were both carrying their crossbows to shoot some deer for food. they shot a deer as soon as they saw it, and cut some pieces of meat off it. Gwinneth made herself a small skirt and a very small shirt out of the leather (that made Adolf a bit sad), and they were walking back to the cave and followed Turylon and Largefry's footsteps to find them. As they walked there, they met Lilly and Katherine. "What's up with you, ladies?", Adolf asked. They both stared at a hole in the ground, with stairs leading down. "Well", Katherine explained, "we walked behind turylon and Largefry, as I suddenly slit my foot on a sharp stone on the ground because my shoes are too thin." She showed them her wounded foot. "Well, not only that my foot is wounded, I can throw away those expensive shoes now!", she said angrily. "But, well, that doesn't really matter, I have 40 pairs of shoes at home, just like every lady... well, and then I picked up the stone to throw it away because I was angered, but there was a rope fixed on this stone, and as I picked it up, this hole in the ground opened. I bet this is the secret hideout of those thieves." "Good job! Where are Turylon and Largefry?", Adolf asked. They came just in this moment. "What are you waiting here for? We have horses now and can ride to the next city with them. Come on!", Turylon said. Then Lady Katherine told him the story about how she found the hole in the ground. "Good work, my dear. Let's look what's inside. Maybe we'll see why they want to get us out of the way.", Turylon suggested. They all walked down into the cave...

[Bora]

i dont think that every peson with the name adolf has strange ideas in his minds, but in this case itreally fits. i am not pleased that you often write about situations with explicit violence, adolf :nono:

[Largefry07]

All six of them went down into the hole to explore. I more of a underground passage way than anything. The passage way was very narrow and dark. It very small and at some places they all had to get down on all fours to pass. It was very wet and muddy in the underground hideout. Forturenaly they were no bandits in the passage way. Turylon led the way followed but Largefry, the three ladies and Adolf was in the back in case it was a trap. The passageway had a lot of twists turns, and evelavtion changes in it. After a good hour looking for the end to this hideout Turylon and the others found a huge cravan with gold tresure stack up to the ceiling of the cravan. It was a well lited and not as wet as thetrail they had just came form. "It's ours it's all of ours" Adolf said with excitment. "Darling our truobles are over" Adolf yelled to Gwinneth not realiseing that she was standing right next to him. Tuylon walked around exploring the new found treasure they had just discovered when he found map on the wall. "Adolf come here", Turylon ordered, "come and take a look at this." Adolf still jumpping up and down with excitement came over to the corner that Turylon had made his great discovery. "Well I'll be, its a its a a a map, of the entire cave network underneithne the town," as Adolf said in awe. "Yes it is, this is how the bandits stool all of this treasure by useing these caves to sneck in house and store by all these holes leading up to the ground," Turylon answer. "But surely not all of this treasure came from this town alone," Adolf replied. "Yes your exactely," as Turylon started but was interruped by Gwinneth's loud srceam and then followed by a cry.

[HappyAdolf]

*Wow, our story gets really exciting!*

They all turned around to see what was up with Gwinneth. "Leave me be, you swine!", she yelled at the innkeeper, who came here to inspect his treasures. "You again. And I thought, you were smart enough to leave your fingers off the things that are of no interest for you. Well, this time I will take her with me. As a present for a... friend. A Lord, who just captured a castle...", he told them. "and I think YOU should get away from here... FAR away.", he said and went away. As they were out of the underground hole, Adolf followed them. "I will follow them whereever they are going! I will get Gwinneth back!", Adolf said. "Sigh. What are we going to do now?", Largefry asked. "Well, when Adolf turns to a berzerker again like in this farm, he will have no problems to free Gwinneth alone. I suggest we search around inside of the caverns underneath of the town. Maybe we will find out more about the thieves there. And we shall wish Adolf best of luck.", Turylon said. They all exited the hidden base.
Outside Adolf jumped on the wagon they put Gwinneth on and sat down on the bottom of it. Where will they go? He would know soon enough.

[HappyAdolf]

*I'll write my little adventure now and Largefry or Turylon may write theirs ;) After that post I will come back to them... together with Gwinneth :D I can do my insane rescuing mission all alone :D Cool ;)*

After a while the wagon reached a big castle (well, not that big, but not small, so it was big, but not too big... ahh, forget it...). The thieves came out of the wagon and they brought Gwinneth into the castle. Adolf jumped down of the wagon and saw that two guards stood guard at the gate (well, that's the thing guards normally do...). One of them was sleeping, but he had to distract the other guard in order to enter the castle. He went to the guard and started to talk with him. "Hello, ehh... guard of this castle!", he said. "Hello, strange guy I don't know! What do you want?" "Err... I wanna enter the castle?" "Yeaaah, riight, and I let you pass, or what?" "Yes?" "No." "Why not?" "Well, I don't know you and you are none of de Clay's men. So why should I let you in?" "Err... well... oh! Look there! A flying squirrel!!!" "Where???", the guard asked excitedly and looked into the sky. As he saw that he was fooled, he wanted to insult Adolf, but Adolf was already gone. "Ahh, damnit, I hate this kind of guys who make such bad jokes...", he said to himself angrily.
Adolf followed the kidnappers into a tower which looked like a prison. They went down into the cellar, and into a dark room with a heavy wooden door. They closed the door behind them. "Well, now I can try to use my new lockpicks...", Adolf said and tried them out. Meanwhile the innkeeper took some chains and tied Gwinneth to the wall. Then he went to a guy who stood in the middle of the room. The guy gave him a sack full of gold coins. Then he went to Gwinneth. "If it is not my dear Gwinneth. How are you today, M'lady?", he asked sarcastically. "Lord de Clay! You!", she called full of hate and was surprised, that he came himself, just to see her. He was a big man of majestic stature. With his long black hair,thick beard and his big scar over his right eye he looked really dangerous. "Now, I finally got you. Since your father didn't tell me where your family's treasure is located, I have to ask you. Where is your family treasure?", he asked her. "I will never tell you!", Gwinneth screamed and kicked with her bare foot into his mouth. "Ouch!", de Clay cried. "You kicked out my favourite tooth! MY FAVOURITE TOOTH! I loved him so!!! *sob* For this I will make you drown in your own blood, *****! I will never forgive you this! My favourite tooth..." "Is it the tooth that sticks in my foot?", Gwinneth asked with pain. "Oh man, that tooth in my foot hurts! I will never kick out somebody's tooths when I'm barefooted..." Lord de Clay took his tooth out of her foot and kissed it before putting it into his mouth again. "Oh, my tooth! I missed you so *sob*!!! My dear tooth.... well, now that I have my beloved tooth back, I won't kill you. But I have a great idea how you or your father would tell me the secret place where your treasure is located! This plan is just so intelligent... I'm so clever... I bet no one else could have thought of that! Haha!", he said happily and ordered to bring Gwinneth's father here. "Tell me where your gold is located!", he ordered Gwinneth's father. "Never!", he replied. "Then I have to hurt your daughter.", Lord de Clay told him. "What? You have my daughter? No, please don't hurt her! I will tell you anything!!!", Gwinneth's fa´ther cried. "Wow, that's too easy.", de Clay wondered. "It would have been so much fun hurting her... ah, nevermind. At least I will get all of the gold of the family of Ravenstone now! Then I'll be rich!!!" One of the guards inside the torturing-chamber came to de Clay and told him:"Err... boss, you ARE rich!" Lord de Clay thought about the words the guard had told him for a few seconds and then answered: "Well, then I will become even richer..."
Meanwhile Adolf still tried to open the gate with his lockpicks. "Damnit, I thought this would be easier..." Suddenly a guard appeared. "Hey! What the hell are you doing with these lockpicks?", he asked Adolf furiously. "Err... nothing, just... trying them out on this door... hehe!", Adolf answered. "I think i have to take you to our boss. You're not allowed to be here.", the guard told him. Adolf took out his sword quickly and killed him. Then he took his key. "What? Those guys have keys?!", he wondered. "Why didn't I do this earlier..." Then he opened the door...
"Alright, alright, I'll tell you everything! Our treasure is located in...", Gwinneth's father tried to say as Adolf rushed in. "You don't have to tell him anything!!", Adolf screamed. "Who the hell are you, butt?", de Clay asked. "ADOLF!", Gwinneth called happily. "Yes, it is me! It is me, Sir Adolf the Almighty! I shall rescue thee and your father! I shall slay the traitor named Lord de Clay! I, Sir Adolf the almighty shall do so! I killed 500 men at my own, slew 4 dragons with my bare hands, rescued over 20 young ladies from evil guys who trapped them, kissed over 200 daughters of 170 different kings, saved over 20 kingdoms from their enemies, killed...", Adolf told them. "Oh man, just shut up and fight, idiot!", de Clay interrupted him and drew his silver sword. "Alright.", Adolf answered and drew his sword, too. They fought over five minutes without hitting each other. Gwinneth and her father yelled to Adolf: "Hit him! Yeah! You'll win! Hit him in his balls!" After another two minutes Adolf hit Lord de Clay in his face with his fist while blocking his attack with his sword. "Noooo! I lost my favourite tooth again!", de Clay cried and catched his tooth. "We'll meet again, Sir Adolf!", he called to Adolf and disappeared together with his guards.
Adolf introduced himself to gwinneth's father. "Hello. I am Sir Adolf the Almighty, noble knight and lover of your daughter. Who are you?" "I am Sir Gilbert of Ravenstone, Lord of the castle of Ravenstone and father of your love.", Gwinneth's father replied. "Now we just have to get outta here... No, wait! If this is your castle which this guy has conquered, we could just conquer it back now!", Adolf said happily. "This isn't our castle!", Gwinneth and her father replied nearly at the same time. "Well, then... forget what I said and just get outta here, okay?", Adolf suggested. They all went out of the torturing-chamber and climbed up the castle walls.
"Damnit, those two guards are still standing guard at the castle-gate! We need a plan to get through!", Adolf said. "Maybe I could use my sword to hack some big boulders out of the castle walls and then throw them on the guards..." "And this guy is your lover???", Gilbert asked his daughter. "Yes. I love him, he loves me, he is sweet, he finds me sweet, and he is really funny!", Gwinneth replied. "Or I could make some small catapults out of the bones of the dead people in the torturing-chamber...", Adolf mumbled. "Hmm... funny doesn't seem to be the right word for this guy...", Gilbert said. "And then hack the castle wall into very small pieces and throw them on the guards with the little bone-catapults...", Adolf thought. "... the word 'insane' fits better to that guy!!", Gilbert called.
Then Gwinneth had a plan: "I have a plan! But you two have to act quickly if we want to succeed! I will distract those guards by pulling out my clothes...", Gwinneth tried to suggest. "But you only wear a small leather-skirt and a much smaller leather-shirt!", Adolf interrupted her. "That's why you have to act quickly. Then you two get yourself horses from the stables and you, father, ride out of the castle fast. Then the guards will try to follow you and then you, Adolf, darling, come slowly with your horse and let me jump on the horse. Then we both ride away, too!", she said. So they did. Gwinneth walked behind the gate and called to the guards. "Hello, sweetie!" "Hey, John, look there!", one of the guards yelled to his mate. "Whassup??? Why do you wake me up?", he asked as he awaked from his sleep. "There! Look, this sexy girl!!! Whoa, she's soooo sweet!!!" "Eh? Wow, she's really sweet! Am I still dreaming?!?" Suddenly a horse charged out of the castle. "Hey! Stay here!", the guards called and runned after the horse. Right in this moment another horse charged out of the castle. "Damnit! If you would have paid more attention, John, they wouldn't have been able to flee!! Don't sleep again, you idiot!", the one guard yelled. "Ah, let me sleep, I'm still tired!"
Gilbert, Gwinneth and Adolf were very happy about having fled from Lord de Clay. "Have you seen how I showed it to this bastard!!", adolf shouted. "Yes, my hero! I love you, darling!!", Gwinneth answered. Then they kissed each other while riding. They all headed to the realm of Gwindom, where Turylon and the others searched in the underground-caves for more hints about the thieves.